SHORT FICTION BY PAULA: CLAUDINE AND THE OWN LIFE EXCLUSION CLAUSE

SHORT FICTION BY PAULA: CLAUDINE AND THE OWN LIFE EXCLUSION CLAUSE:   Ordinarily, Moira Weston would not have been so appreciative of the lack of net curtains in Olivia's flat. No, not flat . The slightly...

RELOCATING...

 New website: paulawritesfiction.blogspot.com for my short fiction

The Choice

There is no choice. There really isn't. I mean, no one chooses to die of Cancer, right?

   Same with suicide. No one chooses it. The truth is, you're trapped in an unendurable cycle of pain, and no one is offering solutions. And yes, sometimes there are specific, tangible problems, with which you know others could help, if they could be bothered. So, it isn't all abstract. It isn't all rich supermodels with "nothing to feel depressed about".

   Yes, anyone can suffer from clinical depression. There doesn't need to be an obvious reason. But some of us, news flash, have desperate life circumstances, either causing, or contributing to, our depression and anxiety. To the fact that we want out.

   Suicide isn't a choice, in that we feel there are other endurable options.

   It also isn't a choice, in the sense that we may intend to kill ourselves, and act upon the decision, and yet survive.

   Whose story is this, really? And what is the point of writing these words? They're not new, are they? All of this is already out there.

   Is this my story? His? Hers? Is it yours? Who cares? Can someone please care, before it's too late, and another one is lost? Another one who could have been saved.

 

   Too care or not: There is a choice. 

The Importance of Wallpaper

"Mum..." This time, the child tugs upon the sleeve of her mother's beige cardigan.

   The heat, here in this crowded department store, is becoming unbearable. Oppressive. Amy can barely breathe. And the nausea is worse. Much worse.

   "Be quiet, Amy!" Focus intent, upon the endless rows of wallpaper. Yet another roll selected. All are pastel green. Little to differentiate one from the next. 

   But at least the sickness seems to be passing.

   At last, Mum appears to have made a decision. A final selection? 

   Amy certainly hopes that this will be her final selection.

   It is when they are finally at the checkout that Amy feels suddenly sick again. More so than ever. Yet again, attempts to attract her mother's attention.

   And fails.

   And black spots dance in front of her eyes.

   And the last sound she hears is of a woman, saying: "Excuse me - your little girl is about to faint!"

   Afterwards, Mum blamed Amy. She had refused breakfast that morning, because her little brother was never expected to have that meal. And, even though Amy didn't dislike breakfast, she hadn't understood why Michael didn't have to eat any, and she did.

   Mum always had blamed Amy for fainting. And for everything else that had, in any respect, gone wrong in their lives. The fainting incident was small, but somehow significant, and definitely typical. Amy's mother was never even partially to blame.

   But is wallpaper really so important? Reason enough to ignore your daughter, when she is trying to tell you that she doesn't feel well? Really?